HOW TO BE KIND

Being kind is a way of living that keeps giving long after the kind thoughts, words, and actions have taken place. Kindness is a force without force, and it goes well beyond manners to the very heart of how people respect and treat one another.

Being kind is a vital way of making our own lives, and the lives of others, meaningful. Being kind allows us to communicate better with others, to be more self-compassionate, and to be a positive force in other people's lives. Kindness has its true source deep within you, and while some people are innately kind, it's something that everyone can cultivate by choice. In this article, you'll find a few initial suggestions to help you further develop kindness in your life.

STEP :

1. Understand what kindness is and is not. At its most basic, kindness is about caring genuinely for others around you, wanting the best for them, and recognizing in them the same wants, needs, aspirations, and even fears that you have too. Kindness is warm, resilient, patient, trusting, loyal, and grateful.^[1]Piero Ferrucci sees kindness as being about "making less effort" because it frees us from getting knotted up in negative attitudes and feelings such as resentment, jealousy, suspicion, and manipulation.^[2] Ultimately, kindness is deep caring for all beings.

2. Be kind to yourself. Many people make the error of trying to be kind to others while not focusing on being kind to themselves. Some of this can stem from not liking aspects of yourself, but more often than not, it's sourced in the inability to know yourself better. And unfortunately, when you don't feel rock solid within yourself, your kindness to others risks falling into the deluded types of kindness described in the previous step. Or, it can lead to burn-out and disillusionment because you've put everyone else first. Self-knowledge allows you to see what causes you pain and conflict, and enables you to embrace your contradictions and inconsistencies. Self-knowledge allows the space to work on things about yourself that you're not happy with. In turn, self-knowledge helps to prevent you from projecting your negative aspects onto other people, thereby empowering you to treat other people with love and kindness.^[4]

3. Be present. The greatest gift of kindness to another person is to be in the moment in their presence, to be listening with care, and to be genuinely attentive to them.

4. Be happy, joyful, and grateful. These emotions rest at the heart of kindness, allowing you to see the good in others and the world, enabling you to press through the challenges, despair, and cruelty you witness and experience, continuously restoring your sense of faith in humanity. Maintaining an optimistic attitude ensures that acts of kindness are committed with genuine joy and cheerfulness rather than with reluctance or out of a sense of duty or service. And keeping your sense of humor ensures that you don't take yourself too seriously and take life's contradictory and contrary moments with good faith.

5. Reflect on the kindness of other people. Think about the truly kind people in your life and how they make you feel. Do you carry their warm glow around in your heart every time you think of them? It is likely that you do because kindness lingers, warming you even when the hardest challenges face you. When other people find a way to love you for who you are, it's impossible to forget such trust and confirmation of worthiness, and their kindness lives on forever.

6. Cultivate kindness for the good of your own health. Improved psychological health and happiness comes from thinking more positively, and kindness is a positive mental state. While kindness is about giving and being open to others, giving kindness returns a sense of well-being and connectedness to us that improves our own mental state and health.